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Custody is the legal term that was previously common in Colorado; now the terms used are “parenting time” ( the amount of time you spend with your child) and “decision-making” (making major decisions about your child’s life, healthcare, and education). These two aspects are handled separately by the courts.
For example, a court may decide that your child will spend more time with you than with the other parent but grant both of you joint decision-making abilities. This means all major decisions about your child’s care will be made on an equal basis, in spite of unequal parenting time.
Joint custody is any arrangement where at least some parenting time is shared between you and the other party, and there is joint decision-making. Sole custody means that one parent has all or nearly all of the time with your child, and can involve either sole or joining decision-making rights.
The State of Colorado looks at two similar yet distinct sets of factors to determine parenting time and decision-making.
These factors involve the needs of the child and the preferences of the child if they are 12 years old or older. The history of pre-divorce parenting time is also considered, as are your child’s educational, family, and social ties to one parent’s locale over the other.
Do both you and the other party have the ability to place the child’s needs above your own? Can both of you encourage love and affection between the child and the other parent? These are very important factors that the court will consider in deciding how parenting time should be divided.
The courts in Colorado may grant sole custody in cases where there has been domestic violence, child abuse, or neglect. The courts will also examine the details of these issues and determine whether or not it is safe for your child to spend any amount of time with the offending parent.
More nuanced factors will include whether your child was also a target of domestic violence, how long ago that took place, and if circumstances have changed since that time (such as a parent achieving sobriety or attending therapy).
But if the court finds that there’s a significant risk to your child in having parenting time with the other parent, they will enter sole custody.
Many studies have shown that children who have access to both parents have much better outcomes in life than those who don’t. Children who spend meaningful time with both parents are much less likely to be involved in risky behaviors such as drug use, alcohol use, and sexual promiscuity.
If your child has a good relationship with both parents, they’re less likely to struggle with anxiety and tend to perform better in school. Their economic outlook as an adult is also significantly improved, making joint custody a much better outcome for most children.
Mediation is often a huge help to parents. If you and the other party can not come to an agreement together, the mediator can help each party communicate more successfully with your child’s interests front and center.
Child custody disputes can be emotional and tense in ways that child support or financial issues are not, simply because these are your kids.
But getting the help of a less emotionally involved, neutral professional can help both you and the other party come up with a plan that works for both of you and puts your child first.
While some degree of compromise and meeting the other party halfway is likely, mediation is far better than leaving these decisions to a court. A judge won’t know you or your child personally, and working things out in mediation typically yields more agreeable and workable results.
Similar to the objective role of a mediatory, an attorney can help by being a little more distant from your child custody case. These cases are often highly emotional, and it can be immensely helpful to have someone in the middle who can evaluate possible legal outcomes and help you understand what is best for your child.
It can be tough to see things objectively when you’re in the middle of negotiating for custody. But you will get through this, and a skilled, patient, and knowledgeable attorney can be your most important ally. A good lawyer can help you and the other party make meaningful decisions that will positively impact not only your immediate relationship with your child but the rest of your child’s life.
One case that stood out involved a wonderfully peaceful, amicable agreement. The other attorney and I worked with both parents, and both parents, in turn, worked very hard to be agreeable with each other. There was genuine effort put into being cooperative and putting their kids first, and they both wound up being excellent co-parents.
This case always stood out for me as a sterling example of how well things can go when parents put differences aside and place their children’s well-being front and center.
Another case that stands out for me is a tragic contrast against this. I was hired after the divorce had already been granted, and there was a long history of conflict and court involvement between the parents. Both parents were angry, immovable in their positions, and putting themselves ahead of their children.
As a result, the divorce and ongoing conflict had been terribly tough on their children; each child endured stays in mental health facilities where some had tried to end their own lives, and others had run away.
It was a devastating case to be involved in because I could clearly see the impact that years of continuing fighting had on these children. The judge told us when we were done with this case, “I plan to use this case as a warning to other parents when they divorce about how devastating continued conflict between the parents can be on their children.”
That is not how you want to be remembered by the judge. Instead, you want to work proactively with the other parent and with your attorney and help put your children first.
As a family law attorney, I’ve made helping parents through this process with their children in mind a top priority, and this approach inevitably works better for the kids and for my clients, as well.
For more information on Joint Custody vs. Sole Custody, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (719) 985-8192 today.